Do people say things they don’t mean? Yes they surely do. Why do they say things they don’t mean? There can be several causes, sometimes they do it by accident, sometimes on purpose. For my part, I don’t do it on purpose. I say things that I don’t mean, even though I don’t want to. The worst part: I realize what I said then, when it’s already too late. I chat with people, they write something, I write something, they get angry, and I’m like „Heck, what did I just say“. I understand why they’re angry or upset; because of what I said. But most of the time I didn’t really mean what I say. I then realize „Damn, why did I say that? That’s not my real, true opinion on this topic.“ But then it’s already too late. I can’t change what I said. Sure, I can answer „ohh I didn’t mean it that way“, but if I do that over and over again, my chat partner would soon get curious about whether I actually have a own opinion on something. It’s depressing me. I start trouble without a) wanting trouble b) with things that aren’t supposed to make trouble c) things that I didn’t mean that way. Things I afterwards regret having said. I can’t control it. I can’t stop it. I do conversations, and suddenly it happened. Suddenly I realize what I just said or sent. It is frustrating. Sometimes I would just want to quit the chat right at this point. But then my chat partner’s like „Dude you’re such a dirtbag quitting our conversation after saying this and that“. This is one of those moments where life seems to fall down on you, and you can’t lift it up again. It’s permanent damage. Even if you keep being friends with that person, it will stay in the back of your mind. It’s like loving someone with your heart but being stopped in expressing it by your brain. It’s horrible. Why can’t I simply give spontaneous answers that represent what I want to express and what I really feel. Why are these answers always turning out to be bullshit afterwards. I want it to stop, but you are left alone with it. 

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